To care or not to care ?
on the dilemma of empathy
I've been trying to write this piece for the last three weeks, but every time I sat down, I found myself racing against a weekly deadline. I'd then postpone it, convinced I needed more time to reflect.
The truth is, I am afraid to share what I am about to write. Anyone who reads this might end up thinking that I am a coward, taking shelter in words and a self-made notion of the world. And this thought has been tormenting me for three weeks now. To fill up this time, I ended up writing about procrastination, as if I am a self-help writer, and walking (a habit which I literally picked up one day before writing that piece). Maybe this is a confession that I have been avoiding for a long time.
A lot of things are going wrong in the world, and I do not want to care about most of those. One reason could be the lack of knowledge about those events. But there is another reason that keeps coming to my mind when I refrain from offering my opinion about anything political, delete a message on a WhatsApp chat, or even skip any informational video or article regarding such issues. What's happening in this world isn't because of me; I have no hand in any war, genocide, or man-made disaster. So why should I drain my time and energy thinking about things over which I have no control? I did not start a war, neither did I say anything offensive to people following a certain belief system, so why should I suffer passively when I could be doing something else, something for myself? And perhaps what we're witnessing is designed to keep us distracted by problems we can't solve, preventing us from tackling those we actually can
For most people, I think, these issues are similar to entertainment. They will see a clip on Instagram, read an article (hardly anyone reads anything nowadays), watch a video of their favourite YouTuber, and form their opinion to jump into a discussion as if they are experts. Their outrage is hollow, their actions are petty, and their thinking is a product of algorithm and conditioning. Is it that easy to form an opinion? I do not think so. Can you come to a conclusion without listening to the other side or without prejudice? I do not have any opinion on 99 out of 100 things that are worth discussing, and I have no motivation either to discuss my opinion (even if I develop one).
I belive, if my actions, or my time cannot change something, cannot control what is happening, then spending my time on those things is meaningless. I am merely massaging my ego or, by not addressing my real-life problems, I am drowning myself in information overload, giving myself the false reassurance that my time is being spent on something good. In reality, I would just be wasting my time. That "knowledge," for me, is to show others, "Look, I know what's wrong with the world and I too care about X/Y issue, but alas, how helpless am I to be of no use for those who are affected; therefore, I am uploading a story with a sad music background and pretending that I care." But in reality, for me, it's just a way to pass the time, and because I lack the courage to fight my own problems, I'll find the world's problems and express my sorrow over them.
Most of the content that we consume in the form of news is polarized; it generally shows only one side, and our algorithm is clever enough to recommend only those things that are aligned with our beliefs and keep us hooked to the screens. We do not want to entertain ideas opposite to our ideologies, because it is dangerous for our identities.
It is actually the word “identity" that scares me the most. Being born in a certain part of the world, under a certain name, and some other certain roles that I have to play in my life is already a heavy enough load for me to carry. When I said that I was afraid to write this piece, I was actually saying that I was afraid of being labelled under a certain identity due to this piece.
Our identities direct our concerns. I propose (for myself) that for any event where expressing my views would tie me to an identity, and the outcome of those events (again) is not in my control, I should not care about having an opinion, or atleast should not care about sharing my concern with everyone. Because perhaps it's not entirely possible for me not to have any concern, but realizing that my time should be spent on my own life or doing something for myself, with that in mind, I should at least stay away from discussions about these matters. I am yet again refraining from using any example here, because examples are many, as are the opinions of the readers and the possibilities of me getting labelled into an identity.
This might make me sound insensitive. But this is a risk I am willing to take. I am too afraid of standing on the wrong side, and I cannot decide which side is right or wrong without knowing completely about all the aspects. And at this moment, this is a mighty ask for me. I can either spend my day thinking about stuff beyond my control and feel little and weak, or I can spend it working on my life to actually become big and strong. That way, I can perhaps become worthy of showing my empathy.
But for now, I will leave this dilemma as it is and take control over my own life.
This is relatable. I’ve written about this at length in my book! :)
At least you are thinking about it, that require a certain level of maturity. I was outraged about lot of things in the world for the longest of times. It’s good to know what we can and cannot do and while there are lot of inspirational figures around us, we cannot be them, let’s be true to ourselves. Meditation has helped me calm down a bit and focus on things I can do rather than focusing on all that is going wrong with the world.